Sam's going to college

Tonight, as Kyle, Analee and Jacob are at the church for their various activities, what are Sam and I doing? Watching the TV shows "Wipeout" and "Surviorman" and talking about what college he will attend. He saw a commercial of a mother taking her daughter to college and that got him thinking of what his college experience will be like. He started by asking me, "Mom, when I'm 18, what college are you going to send me to?" So we talked about how he needs to do well in school and then he can pick where he wants to go. He thought about that for a minute and then said he was nervous about going to college. When Sam gets nervous about something, he has to think it out and figure out how resolve it. So telling him that he doesn't have to worry about college for a lot of years didn't help. He got his journal and began making a list of the things he will want to take with him to college. He made sure, with me, that he could watch PG-13 movies by the time he goes to college and then he put all the Spiderman movies on his list. He told me he would let Kyle and me keep the Star Wars movies but he would be taking "Star Wars:The Clone Wars" with him. He wants the chair that is in his room. He knows he will have a roommate or two. He told me he could look online for a college. Smart boy. He doesn't like school and knows that it takes four years so, "I will just have to make the best of it, for four years," (said with a scowl on his face). "At least science will be fun. You get to mix chemicals." (his face brightens up)
My sweet Sam. Even though this conversation seems funny, to him it is serious and I need to make sure I treat it that way. There is no telling how long this topic will stay in his head so I need to be ready to talk about it whenever he asks another question. Because he is writing things down in his journal, it is more than likely he will bring it up again. He is such a sweet boy and I have come to enjoy moments like these with him. I have learned just how he needs me to respond, both with listening and talking. It is so easy for him to unknowingly tug at my heartstrings and remind me how special he is. This conversation has made me wonder, for the hundredth time, what his future has in store for him. Just what will he study in college? What will his interests lead him to? And how will I ever be able to let him go with out me?