3rd grade Sam-isms

For anyone who knows Sam and those who want a little bit more insight. I found these when I cleaned out his end-of-the-year folder. Some spelling and actual words are left to the reader's own translation. Here we go. Enjoy!

1. Me and My Sister
Same things: we both have white skin
Both huministic and sence of humer in family

Different: I don't have glasses.
She thinks she's the woman of the house.

2. I'm a little crazy on some stuff but sometimes I am a little not crazy but I am interested in other things.

3. I will be just like my dad, not like my bad brother.

4. This is Sam's memory of the family vacation to Dylan's Beach in California:
I was very excited to go to California, lay on the beach, live in a beach house, play and relax. Family from all over were there playing volleyball, surfing, skim boarding and swimming. There was also a hot tub and some flowers and some butterflies and bees. There was my uncle, aunt, grandpa, grandma, cousin and my mom, dad, my brother and my sister and me. I had a great time. Once me, my brother, and my dad went to the beach. We saw a huge dead jellyfish. I think it was 30 ft. long and 15 inches wide. We had our own beach houses and the one I had also had a perfect view of the beach. At noon surfers came to surf on little waves. The waves came from the shore to the cliff. We got to go on the beach whenever we wanted. One time my dad found a live crab. The skim boarding was hard but it grew easier at the time. I got pretty good at it and the waves were a little strong.

5. Once upon a time there was a happy family but when the moma and dad leave there was a babysitter that does what she usually does, sends the 3 kids to bed. "Yikes." So the kids had to retake the house. "Guys, I have a plan to retake the house." "What's the plan?" "You know that vent right there? We can fit through there and then we can surprise the babysitter. " So they agreed to attack the babysitter. "Let's find weapons so we can defeat the babysitter." "Sure." "Okay, Giganto. Do something," said a creepy voice. It was the babysitter! "Runnnnnnn!" "Get back here!"

6. Why I like Star Wars
I like Star Wars because it is cool, awesome and nice. It has space battles, land battles, persuits, retreats, and people who have lightsabers. People who have guns, thermal detonators, jet packs, even good guys and bad guys.

7. Do you know how sleepy I am right now?
Dialog: "Billy Bob Peep Bob Willis, how many times have I told you not to sleep during homework?"
I could feel my head tilting then I started to close my eyes. Pretend the lights are off and your taking a little nap and your.....

8. Don't do drugs because they can cause a chain reaction on your heart and your body and most of all your lungs so just don't do drugs.

9. Knowing how to cook:
Get a salad bowl or use your friend. Then put salad on him. Just stuff him and throw him in your stumic.

10. How to go fishing:
First you need to find some worms. Then get a fishing rod then get a canoe. Then drive, man, drive. Then your at a lake. Then fish, man, fish. That is all.

11. How to destroy property:
Just call the spy acadamy then set a bunch of gernades. Then activate the gernades then see if the person survived and if he or she didn't, blame your enemy.

12. How to fish:
Just go to a river then fish, man, fish. Then drive to a pond then fish, man, fish. Then drive to a creek then fish, man, fish. Then drive home.

13. My Own Tall Tale (using a story pattern)
Spiderfrog was the toughest man in the state of Frogville. Everyone for miles around knew Spiderfrog and loved to tell and retell of his amazing feats. Now one day Spiderfrog went to visit Barfboy. Barfboy had been having big problems with the Figi flu and Mr. Nega was destroying the town. Spiderfrog told Barfboy to drink water. While he was doing that Spiderfrog took down Mr. Nega while Barfboy recovered.

Brought to you by Sam, 3rd grader.